The Tooth Fairy Doesn’t Fly to Eastern Europe

I didn’t get it right the first two times. I knew the deal. I knew I was supposed to take the tooth and leave the money. Simple, right? Not when you have your Czech mother in law whispering in your ear.

“Noh. Leave the tooth. She loves it.” she croons. Her strong Czech accent somehow makes me believe that she knows better and that I’ll break my daughter’s heart if I take the tooth. Then my Czech husband chimes in, “Yes, leave the tooth. You’re not supposed to take the tooth.” Now I’m actually doubting myself. I leave the tooth and push the dollar under the pillow.

But six year olds know how things are supposed to go. Mine woke up confused. “She left the tooth? Why did she leave the tooth? MOMMY!! She left the tooth.”

Tooth number two falls out. It is sitting right there, out in the open next to her pillow, just in case the tooth fairy is a little mixed up about things. This time it is in an adorable tooth necklace, waiting for the exchange. I approach the pillow, she stirs. I back off. I approach. She stirs. She opens her eyes. I back off. Is she waiting up all night? I come back a few minutes later and she looks asleep. I approach, she stirs, I quickly take the tooth and the necklace and leave the dollar. I make it out. I know this isn’t right either.

“MOMMY!! She took the whole thing. She took my necklace too. Why did she take my necklace too? She was supposed to just take the tooth!”

I can feel that I’m dangerously close to being discovered. The tooth fairy doesn’t mess up. She’s very experienced.

Tooth number three falls out. The tooth goes in the necklace under the pillow and this time there is a note hanging from the side of the bed.

“Dear Tooth Fairy, Please do not take my necklace. Please JUST take my tooth and leave me something really special.”

Her tooth fairy needs instructions…clearly. The mother in law is back home, the husband is at work and I’m ready. I take the tooth, leave the necklace, bring the first necklace back and slip a beautiful silver dollar under her pillow.

“MOMMY, MOMMY LOOK!!! She brought the necklace back AND took my tooth AND left me a silver dollar!” Phew.

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