I am going through a divorce. It is all the things you think it might be….trying, sad, freeing, horrible, etc. The list could go on forever really. I thought it might be time to put myself out there and test the dating waters.
I haven’t been on a date in 16 years. I was in college at that point and I wouldn’t even say that I went on dates back then. I met my husband at a summer camp we worked at. We also lived there all summer so our relationship sort of evolved whiled at camp. There wasn’t a ton of “dating” involved.
While spending time alone, I realized that it is hard to meet single people. Married people tend to hang with married people. Since I was one of those people, most of my friends tend to be married. I decided that I needed to sign up for some sort of online dating site.
After doing some research, I signed up for a site. I was actually pretty freaked out over doing it and felt pretty anxious. What if no one contacted me? What if I didn’t like anyone who contacted me? It was like being 16 again and waiting for someone to ask you to prom.
As I waited to see what would happen, I looked through the site. I wasn’t sure if I had the confidence to contact someone first but it never hurts to look. I got quite a laugh. I realized there are single men that are hot! There are single nerds, single fathers, single douche bags (yep, I said it) and single men who don’t realize why they are single even though it is so obvious.
The good news is, I have been contacted. I even went on a lunch date. The date was not good but it wasn’t horrible. It was a good jumping off point for me because I got to go through all the emotions of a first date.
While I got to deal with the emotions of a first date, I also dealt with some unexpected emotions. I cried like a baby the whole morning of my date. Maybe it’s because I realized that I am actually no longer with my husband. Maybe it’s because I realized that I truly am starting over. I am not really sure, but I know that I am trying to feel all the emotions I am going through and stand in them. I guess it is part of my process. It isn’t fun, but I know in the end it will make me a better partner.
I am not really sure where my dating life will go from here. After only one date I was ready to throw in the towel. I guess I won’t since I paid for this dang site. I might as well use it to get over some of my fears. I guess I’ll see what happens.
No one ever said being single was easy right?